How can tomorrow even exist for us if you won't fight for yourself today?

Tempest Crossing

The Grand Challenge - Chapter 1 (The Stars Just Beyond our Reach)

If only I could be as free as the heavenly bodies above...


On the nights that I am lucky, I get a chance to be idle and look up. After hours of driving into work, sitting idle, doing busywork, counting the hours on the minutes on the seconds on the hands of the clock, clocking out late, driving out and finaly returning home, I take my time to get out of my car, and look up. I live at my parent’s house in the suburbs as I’m saving money to get a place of my own sunday, but the cost of saving money is in some ways costlier then what it would take to shell out and live closer to work. Closer to friends, closer to people my age, closer to experiences and adventures that would round me out as a person. No such luck, because I made the choice a long time ago that I would perform all my actions with the intention of getting ahead in the future.

I spent time away from the class playing outside for recess to stay inside and study to get better grades and get into a good middle school.

When I got into the better middle school, I yet again repeated the cycle, joining the more advanced classes at the cost of the more fun electives and after school activities in order to get into the better high school.

Once high school rolled around, you best believe I made the same choice yet again, and college was no different. And lo and behold, all the painstaking effort paid off. I found myself at a prestigious job for my age range to all the envy of my peers and family. Peers might be a stretch, I wasn’t friends with too many people as they seem to dislike the scarces amounts of small time I dedicated to them. But all these acts were for my future, so I couldn’t bear to waste even a single second.

Now that the cycle of education broke, the cycle to adulthood began. The initial excitment of finally get paid, and getting paids LOTs at that compared to my meager college stipends soon washed away as the reality of adulthood began settling in. No matter how much I tried to be frugal or intelligent with my purcahes, it all fell for naught. The beater car I purchased would always need fuel and maintence and cleaning, utilties will always need to be paid as I split it with my aprents, food always cost money, investing a good chunk of change in index funds and retirement accounts was necessary for compounding interest and rewards for the long haul, unforseen events always took a dip out of my rainy day account…

It all started to seam so meanlingless. The bridges I burned, the time I squandrered, just for the priviledge to continue stacking this meager wealth in the grand scheme of events and continue having the proviledge of being able to pay for it. These thoughts and more fumed in my head as I drove to work, performed my meanigless bussywork, drove back stuck in traffic, and finally arrived at my parent’s quiet home at the outskirts of the suburbs. Fermenting in the anger, the beytrayl, the regret, and the sorrow, I took a deep breathe and took and slow and deliberate step out my car, and looked up. And on most nights, I would get the priveldge of being able to stare at the dark night sky. Back in the university, the lights were on 24/7 for campus security, but out here at what felt like the edge of humanity, the lights were much dimmer and it showed.

And for that brief moment ,all my worries washed out. The mere beauty of the stars was able to drown out and erase all the despiaring thoughts cycling themselves into my life. The stars, so bright yet so distant shined powerful accross the night sky, paiting a beautfuk canvas of the awe and wonder of what lies beyond the understanding of man. Beyond anything humanity, especiall y a simple man like me, could ever dream to compose or realize into this reality. The stars just beyond my reach twinkle to anf fro, exlamcing freedom, beauty and believe in oneself, and I stood there for what felt like eternities just drinking it all in. At some point my still figure would find one of its arms reaching upp and toward the sky, closer and cloer as the faint shimmer of the moonlight owould paint my hands with its heavilty glow. And every night I would grab it, grab tbe moon, the stars, and night sky, everything, and pretend that in my hand I would have all that possiblity. But my fist would open, and in it I would fin nothing, just as I would find every night. Before I knew it, I’d feel a single wet tear rolling down my face, and soon would find myself in the present reality. My reality, the one in which I had chose to cycle endlessly without path or point. I sighed a deep sigh, and turned to walk towards my parents house. Dread would soon find itself playing with the confines of my psyche, and no matter how much I wanted to turn around and see it again, the stars just beyond my reach would fade away as I got inside the house and turned away from their glow and the world beyond.


Dialogue & Discussion