A gentle knock makes itself heard at my apartment front door. I wasn’t expected guests anytime today, so I rush over to see who is is through is waiting through my peephole. I see no one there, so I open up the front door and see a small package awaiting next to the entrace. The box wasn’t that unusual, wrapped in white tissue paper surrounded by a red ribbon. What was unusual was the gift giver. The present had a small note attached to it: “For Ri”. No sender details. I take the present inside, wondering who this could be from, and notice the weight of the present feels like something familiar. Carefully, I unwrapped the present, and once again I feel liquid running down my cheeks. There before me were my favorite plates, painstaking glued together despite being shattered apart not even a day ago. Ontop of my plates was one more note: “I’m sorry, I messed up.”
Almost right on cue, I hear the same gentle knock on my front door as the present’s delivery. “Ri… it’s Keir. I know you’re mad and you have every right to be but… do you mind if we talk for a bit?” My body shivered, not knowing what would happen next. Every angry facet of my being wanted to ignore the plea at the front door, and just as he said, I had every right to be mad. But something inside me wanted to give the benefit of the doubt… it had to have been something I read a while ago. Deciding to at least hear him out, I wipe the tears off my face and put on my brave face and as I’m ready to give the scolding of a lifetime.
“If you’re here to break more plates, I’ve locked all my cupboards. Try again at someone else’s apartment,” I definantly annouce as I open up the front door. What I expected to see what as upright man facing me eye-to-eye. What I found instead was that same man kneeling before me with hands and head pressed into the floor.
“I’m sorry, Ri, I really am!”, the man loudly proclaimed underneath my feet.
“… I didn’t know where to start, so I’m just going to start talking…”, the man said as he lowered his tone.
“I got caught up in pretending to be perfect. When I first started writing and got a lot of nice attention, I let it get to my head. I never imagined myself to be a writer, so I wanted to keep a brave front as a way to inspite others to do the same. The others who I believe have just as much talent, if not moreso than me. But what I didn’t expect was the criticism afterwards. When I put myself out there and wasn’t the receiving the same attention I used to, I began to doubt myself. Like I had been washed up before I ever hit my prime, because I would never hit my prime, like I would never be good enough. For anyone.”
The man on the floor paused for a brief moment to take deep breath, then continued.
“But for one moment, I was good enough to someone. I was good enough for you say yes. Before I started writing, my world was gray, like I was just trudging alone with no meaning. But when my thoughts became words, I started to imagine what the world could be like, instead of what it already was. And in part of that imagination, was you. I didn’t really notice it until after I started writing, but you are an amazing person contrary to what meets the eye. You have a way of listening and enouragment that inspires others to believe in themselves, even when they don’t believe in themselves. I wanted more of that, so I chanced it and decided to ask you out, and to my surprise you agreed. I knew I made the right choice, but the longer we were together, the more I realized I didn’t appreciate you for everything you are. You do so much for me and the people you care about, fight so many battles we can’t even begin to imagine, and are still able smile throughout all of your hardships. As I began to to lose sight of myself, I began to lose sight of you too, and it wasn’t until yesterday where I realized I was about to lose everything if I didn’t make amends now. Again, I am sorry, and if you never want to see me again, I completely understand. I just didn’t want things to end like this, I wanted to at least let you know a fraction of how much you mean to me, now that I finally realize it.”
I had already made my decision when I crouched down to gingerly poke the forehead of the man who was silently sniffling below me. As his eyes rose to face my own, I repeated the words that been gifted to me so long ago.
“Remember that you are here, and that you are strong. Unbelievably strong, moreso than I could ever hope to imagine. Forgetting why we’re here, is what rips ups apart. And for the record, I’m glad you remembered, too.”
This was a crossover post between Sandbox Zero and the Altspace VR Writing Group.
Sandbox Zero’s theme this week was storytelling with some of the following questions:
Altspace VR Writing Group had two prompts this week ( I missed last week :P)